This year, I am gaining a new perspective on motherhood. I am nannying three full days a week. Although I have babysat all my life, I am realizing for the first time just the patience and physical & psychological energy that goes into motherhood.
Evie, the 4-year-old little girl I babysit, looked me in the eye one day and said “Annie, what’s a vitamin?” I considered how to answer and chose to make it a teaching moment about eating fruits & veggies.
But it hit me… What happens if she looks me in the eyes and asks: “what is god Annie?” “where do babies come from Annie?” or “why are people poor Annie?”
How would I answer these questions? I have a small role in shaping her understanding of the universe… But what happens when that is my ENTIRE job to shape my own child? This is the duty of a mother.
My mother is a person who finds beauty in nature… A tiny robin’s nest, a spiraling seashell, the mounting, repetitive pattern of a pinecone. But she also taught me that each of these special, gorgeous moments of natural beauty are where form meets functionality- the nest protects the eggs, a seashell protects the critter inside, and a pinecone houses seeds that are only released upon the unfortunate disaster of a forest fire.
Although my mom is somewhat shy, introverted, and sweet, and likes to go to bed at 8pm, there is one thing she would protect with all her strength and ability and that is her children.
My mom has often told me that she wasn’t super into babies or kids before having her own.My mom with my little sister on an Easter Sunday.This always causes a smile to break over my face because it sounds so insane! Since I can remember, nothing quite intoxicates her more than the sweet smell of a baby. It makes me very excited to someday see her with her grandchildren- because beyond helping them decorate Christmas cookies and teaching them silly songs, I know she will support them
whole-heartedly in whatever direction they choose to take their lives.
My mom has never been critical of me. She is an anomaly in that way- mother’s are notorious for finding flaws in their daughters. But aside from arguing that I take too long to replace my shoes, I can’t think of a single time that she hasn’t whole-heartedly supported me. My mom genuinely makes me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. She reads every blog post, tries my recipes, and helped me put the finishing touches on my new apartment with Deven.
ALL of this requires thought, energy, patience, and love. My mom has given that to my siblings and me since the day each of us was born. I am so lucky to have her as my mom and want her to know how much I love her on this special day. And that this year, I especially appreciate her dedication to my understanding of the world and every sacrifice she made to ensure that I grew up loved, safe, confident, and exposed to this big beautiful planet.
I love you to infinity mama, xx
Thank you mama for taking the time to show me the beauty of the little things.